Indian team arrives at the carribean. They all sing ‘ulalala ole o’ ulaalalala leyo’. In the ecstasy of trying to pronounce ‘leyo’ ‘leyo’ ‘leyo’, they start laying more eggs on the ground. Quack! Quack! Back to the pavilion. So the frustrated BCCI, picks up a brand new team for the rest of the world cup. Look at the replacements below,
Sehwag – Ajith Kumar
Sachin – Kamalhassan
Dravid – Captain Vijaykanth
Laxman – Vikram
Yuvraj – Simbu
Kaif – Dhanush
Dhoni – Rajnikanth
Pathan – Surya
Agarkar – vadivelu
Harbhajan – Navarasa nayagan Karthik
Sreesanth – Vijay
Alas! India lose the match with this line up too. After the match, the interview starts…
1. Ajith, they keep the third man just as an open bait for you. But you keep hitting back-cuts again and again to find the fielder. why?
Ajith: Yey, ennna pesura…konnnuduven…naan yaar theriyumla?? Thala! ela ratham! ethana dhadava fielder vachalum naan adipen. Sixer pora varikum naan adipen, wait and watch, Thala will make a come back and hit a six!!!
2. Mr Kamal, You are in poor form, but people are starting to doubt your class! is it true?
Kamal: Well, to start with, ingu amardhirukkum amirthasorubee Mr. Geoffrey Boycott avargale, Form is temporary, class is permanent enginra saying ungalukku theriyum enra my belief will save me. So dont worry, Indhiyargal jeyiparrrrgal, adharku neengal ungalodaya motivationai engalukku kodukaa vendum enru….(doesnt stop)
3. Enna captain, When the team needed you, you have gone to bench under the name of injury! what happened?
Vijaykanth: Hoiyee! Wine sopla sarakku adichu adi vaangaradhum, country warla gundu pattu adi vaangaradhum vera vera. Naan indha world cup jeichu, andha cupla sarakku adikama oyamattenda, annn!!!
4. Vikram sir, seems you are playing only once in a year. why? is there any problem with selction team??
Vikram: Manasuu, valikudhu… Selection teamla, ellarum okkandhukitu maathi maathi paen paakaranga!!
5. Simbu, People say you are a boy ‘playing’ off the ground?? Where are the runs on the ground?
Simbu: Neenga paathinganna, indha simbu eppa edha pannalum kutham solradhu neengadhan. Ana, makkal TV paakaranga. Avangaluku theriyum, yaaruku talent irukkunu…(whish, whush, pish, pish)
6. Enna Dhanush sir, Why arent you scroing big runs??
Dhanush: Modhalla poi oru kalyanatha pannuda! Dhanush talks to himself, “kadavul irukuuran Kumaru!”
7. Rajni sir, when is your next century?? your entertainment value is enthralling us!!
Rajni: Kanna, onnu therinjuko! Nee thinra arisi onakkaga velanjadhu. Adhanala, enniki adichalum nee adika pora 100 run onnodadhu..kelvi kekadha…jujubee…matcha paaru…varta!!
8. Mr Surya, seems your ad fame is growing?? Where are the runs?
Surya: Illa sir, enaku ad fame mattumdhan iruku…ana sothikavuku peravaiye iruku…sothika..sothika
9. Vadivelu Sir, evalavu kevalama adichalum ,why do they pick you in the team??
Vadivelu: Aaaga!! iyo..iyo…batsman ninnu solranpa…ivan eppadi potalum wicket edukka maatan…ivan romba nallavanu sollitanpa…
10. Karthik, you try too much in politics and religion, why cant you bowl well??
Karthik: Naanum…vandhu…naanum… illa…evalavo..try panren…off spin, leg spin, pandhu..poi…maatengudhu..enna sollunga panlam…
11. Vijay, you seem to dance more on the pitch than bowl??? how you manage this??
Vijay: Naa..enna naa solreenga??? pandhu po maatengudhu naa…adhuku poi ippadi solreeenganaaa…
In spite of India losing world cup, the sponsors book them for more contracts…Thats the beauty of Indian Cricket….It’s a mix of emotions, star value, godliness, religion and what else… Money.